Why I Bake

The thing about baking is that it has a set start and end point. I creates a sense of control and purpose. When the COVID-19 pandemic resulted in the city I reside in to implement shelter in place orders, I found myself in this strange new reality where the usual routine I had, which kept my mind plenty occupied, did not exist anymore. The idle time made me feel overwhelmed and it was hard not to feel anxiety and fixate on my struggle with infertility. Baking first started with me trying to fill idle time so that I wouldn’t be so fixated on the next cycle or the next fertility treatment. I quickly realized how therapeutic it was for me. It’s just something about following an exact measurement, mixing the ingredients just right and Wollah! A perfect result! In contrast to what trying to conceive has been for me, I have control over the outcome. The concentration baking requires keeps my mind occupied and away from dwelling on the anxieties that come along with infertility. Being able to create something so delicious that keeps my family asking for more, provides me with a sense of accomplishment that I haven’t been able to achieve in my fertility journey.